Well, it's no island for certain. No indeed! Now we live in the woods somewhere just off the beaten path of bright lights, big city! But we're together again, and it will always be FUN! It's all about the giggles no matter where you are! Remember to enjoy WHO you are with, not where you ARE! We've got this!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
To say that B and I are very different is an understatement. He lacks the ability to make true emotional ties and we have this discussion often.
He doesn't understand my way of thinking. It's not that he can't "love" because he can. But he just doesn't "feel" like I do. He doesn't "get" the bonding thing like I do.
The stories could go on for days (ever) but this story will not!
This is all about our move and only serves to prove my point. We will be moving tomorrow. By moving I mean, the babies and I will be packing up in the car with whatever we can stuff in there and heading for The Woodlands. We can't afford the truck right now and since rent is paid through March, that will wait.
The plan is simple. We will take ourselves, some clothes, a few toys, my computer, Pip, and not much else. But then I got to thinking...what about the food in the frig? More importantly, what about the fish?
So I sent B a text. "Do we have a cooler here and what do I do about the fish?" The fish are HIS pets. The response is simple and true to form "No cooler and the fish wll die!". He didn't add the !, I did. WTH? I replied "ok so the food will go to waste, but those are your pets, that's just sad". He texts "I like the little guys but there's nothing we can do about it". Seriously? WOW....see what I mean? No real emotional ties. These are HIS pets. And they shall die!
For the record, they will NOT die! I'll find a way to take them with us or find them a home. Time is running out but there will be no pets dieing on my watch. Not now, not ever! If nothing else, I have a bucket and a bubble box. These fish (his pets) will not die today!
I just don't get it! He's not heartless. He's not a cruel SOB. But this lack of ability to emotionally engage? This baffles me! They say opposites attract. I believe THEM. And thank goodness for the fish THEY are right!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
That's all I've got to say about that! I'll be back. I love this place! And I'm going to miss it. This IS my home! Bye bye island! Don't miss me too much because I'll miss you enough for the both of us!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
This week has been rough. Seriously, death's door never looked so good! I was super busy but somehow the flu decided to step in and guide my way.
Not cool! B's been out of town so I'm flying solo with the babies (well not really, I have "another" that I'm cleaning up after as well). This was NOT the time for sickness to strike! Go away death...you are not welcome here!
With this said, if you don't like cussing, please exit now because the bombs are about to drop...it's been that bad of a week! Seriously, hit that little X button on the right hand side of your screen if you can't take the profanity. I'll wait!
Oh good, you're still here! So this is how the week played out. I had A LOT going on! I've taken on a new gig that requires me to learn and pay attention. I have another gig where I am leading others (funny to think that anyone would actually allow me to lead others...I know...let's don't tell them how funny that is). I have this little bloggy thing, and I have my kids. Factor in cleaning, cooking, long-distance relationship, finances, bills to pay, appointments to make, etc. You get the picture! Hectic!
But such is life and I can handle whatever it has to deal me. Bring it...I've got this (or so I thought). I got thrown a curve ball this week and I'm not sure if I passed or failed. When the fever breaks, I'll let you know!
Here's how it played out. Sunday, we drove B back to the way other side of Houston to stay out of town, away from us, for a whole nother week. Not good. I cried driving the 2 hours home in the dark with my babies. I came home to the chaos that is now my "home". Not good right now! Bubby seemed a little under the weather and I wasn't surprised since "he" had brought the germs into our house over a week ago.
Antibiotic that I had on hand for Bubby and some Tylenol...life would be perfect in the morning. Not so much! I woke up not feeling so well. I didn't feel bad, I didn't feel horrible. But I didn't feel good. Something was amiss. I went along about my daily chores. I've got this!
By the afternoon, I started to doubt my "got this" theory. I was not feeling well at all! I didn't want to die (yet) but I was not feeling "well" in the least. Still all good. So I plugged away at my chores and knew that everything would be fine!
Tuesday morning, 12:00 AM, why am I so cold? This can't be good. Goody Powders fix everything. Take one, back to bed. Tuesday morning 3:00 AM...what the hell? Why am I sweating, I never sweat? I feel not so good (bad) now. It's been 3 hours, another Goody Powder could be in order. A good night's sleep would cure all!
Not so much! I went through the day Tuesday in somewhat of a fog. I was able to maintain my work schedule, feed the kids, and even get some laundry done. Yup, this will all be over with soon. These things only last 24-48 hours and I was on the home stretch.
By Tuesday afternoon, I was feeling shitty at best. But this was the last day (48 hours and all) so I would make it through with Lysol and a little prayer. Good intentions, but that didn't pan out!
Wednesday morning (day 3) new problems presented themselves. Not only was my fever hovering at a cool 102, but now I suddenly had a new sensation. Not just the chills, the aches, the (OMG) pain of it all. We had moved on to another level of SHOOT.ME.NOW! This is when I decided that this wasn't just a cold. This wasn't just your run of the mill flu. No, this was the swine or bird variety that made me holler SHOOT.ME.NOW at hourly intervals. Yup...the next step!
This was the kicker. Suddenly I had the urge to shit my pants like a wild bear at any given second. Are you flippin serious? As if the sniffles, the cough (apparently you CAN live on one lung since I'd already coughed one up), the fever (even 101 would be desirable at this point), the aches, the sweating, the chills, and the pain weren't enough, YOU just had to throw in the uncontrollable shits? Yes, this is beautiful. Thank you, thank you very much!
But the end was nearing right? I'd been through 3 days of this. It had to stop. It just had to! So I went to bed pumped with Amodium and Flu meds. I had this licked! I would wake in the morning feeling refreshed and alive again.
NOPE...Thursday was the worst.day.ever! SHOOT.ME.NOW! Seriously, fever was hovering close to 103. Shit was flowing and I was cleaning bathrooms for everyone else and still doing laundry, cooking-ish for the kids, and working. That's how I roll. Then at about 4:00 pm, I did the unthinkable. This is something I had not done since I was about 19. I was sitting at the computer, I was dealing with the kids, and the other craziness, and my head was bobbing. I was about to pass out! Oh no...this can't be good!
I shut everything down. I turned off my phone. I abandoned my life! I truly did the unthinkable. With my already frozen body clad in sweat pants and a sweatshirt, I took my failing body to my room, put on a coat, heavy socks, gloves, and a hood and I crawled under the covers. In the middle of the day! Without my computer. Without my phone! And as I laid there FREEZING and SWEATING, I prayed for someone to SHOOT.ME.NOW! Yes, it was that bad!
I only laid there for an hour. Bubby woke from his nap and Bug had had enough quiet time. And I only got up to shit my pants once in that entire hour! But the babies needed me and there was no one else to count on. I got up, fixed their dinner (ish) and went on about my evening since there was work to be done!
At about 11 pm, I got to go to bed. I didn't sleep well. I woke up at 5 am (with lots of in between wake ups...you know...the chills, the sweats, the avoid shitting in my pants kind of wake ups). I didn't feel "well" but I didn't feel bad. Not SHOOT.ME.NOW bad anyway. Friday and Saturday were about the same. It's gotten a little better day by day and I actually got brave enough to eat on Saturday. I might finally be back on the mend (gosh I hope so but I'm still so stinkin weak).
So here I sit, sharing this with you tonight, hoping that all is well. When they say that which does not kill you makes you stronger, they lied. I don't feel a bit stronger at all! I feel beaten, battered, and bruised. I'm five pounds lighter (which is not a plus for someone that only weighed 95 lbs to start with), I'm weak as crap, and I'm beaten down.
But hey...the kids were fed this week, the apartment stayed clean(ish), and all my business got accomplished. I guess it could be worse.
But seriously, if this thing EVER hits me again, promise me, you'll SHOOT.ME.NOW! It's not just the flu, it's a death sentence while you're going through it. As of this moment, I'm glad no one shot me, BUT I would have been appreciative if it had happened a day or so ago!
Stay well, be happy, always sparkle, and avoid the swine thing at all costs!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Last week was busy. Stressful busy! My hubby was out of town, the babies had gone insane (even more than usual), we still have a house "guest", and work was hectic!
As I went along with my busy week, I was somewhat of a hot sparkly mess. I might have even been a little whiny (might?). I wanted to feel more appreciated. I wanted to feel better about myself, about what I'm doing, and about my contributions in this world! But still I kept plugging along because that's what I do. And then I heard the knock, knock, knock on the door on any given Thursday that couldn't have come at a better time (to shut my whiny self up)!
Validation! Tears (shush up...I'm a sap)! There were gorgeous flowers from a very unlikely source. My friends at Collective Bias had thought of me. Not only were these flowers beautiful, but the card made it all even more fabulous!
Can you read it? It says "Thank you for being so wonderful." And it goes on from there, but the fact that I am appreciated at any level? That anyone thinks that I'm "wonderful"? Well, that's just priceless!
So to you, my friends at Collective Bias, this is the most heart-felt thank you card I can muster. With this kind gesture, you gave me a sense of "worth" that was beginning to fade. And this "simple" validation actually made my little world even more complete and sparkly. Yes, it meant that much!
Flowers on any given Thursday can change a mood, bring a smile, and lift a life! And all of you have done just that! You've changed my life in so many ways for the better, and these flowers and the words on that card solidified my faith in you, my faith in myself, and my pride in "working" with such an awesome group of people!
Thank you for all that you do and for appreciating all that I do! I can never truly express how important that is to me! Thank you for brightening my day, and for continuing to brighten my life on a daily basis!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Back in 1963 (yes even before this old bird was born), amazingly scary things were happening. One of those scary things haunts me to this day.
As a child, I watched the movie "The Birds" directed by the infamous Alfred Hitchcock. I don't know if I snuck away on my own and watched this, if my parents allowed it, or if my older sisters enticed me to watch it to scare the bejezus out of me. Whatever the reason, I watched it! In it's entirety. And to my horror, it sticks with me to this day!
I'm serious! I love horror movies. I love being on the edge of my seat. But something about this early classic makes me want to crawl in a hole and die a less painful death than being pecked to smitherines by crows.
So every time I see a vision like I did earlier on my island, I want to crawl back in that hole! Alfred Hitchcock...KUDOS to you where ever you are! Seriously dude...you scare the bejezus out of me. Now if the birds would just go away, I might be able to sleep a peaceful night's sleep again!
Get off those lines you scary beasts! This is my island! Don't you and Al have another movie to write (that by the grace of God I won't watch)? Seriously be gone now or I swear I'm busting out the BB gun! Y'all scare me!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Yes, I know you know, but I must reiterate! I LOVE this island of mine! I adore it in fact! I can think of no other place in the world that I would rather live. This is why I talk of it so often. I love it THAT much!
And with that said, I wouldn't leave this island for anything in the world. Or would I?
My life has been in turmoil for the past month or so! I've shared some of that with you in previous posts. I've shared tales of messes, and disrespect, and utter chaos. But these things are all temporary (or so I would hope. For the record, they are still going on and it's about to make me blow).
But I haven't shared the "big" picture with you yet. Not the big events that have been unfolding that might just change my life forever (or at least the next few years). I haven't been sharing the things that really matter the most. There are things I have been harboring, that I've been keeping to myself, that I have been crying over on a nightly basis! These hidden things will probably make me leave MY island!
These things I am referring to are affecting my family! You see, when B took this job in Houston, we knew it was contract work and that it would not be forever. His "job" would last, but the actual location would not. One job finished up, and he moved to the next...over and over again. All of them remained close enough to my island that he could commute. It was not a short commute, but HE was willing to make it for US so we could stay HERE!
Then it happened. A couple of weeks ago (it seems like an eternity), the "big" job opened up. They wanted him on this "big" job. This "big" job will last from 3 to 7 years. This "big" job is 2 1/2 hours away from my island. What to do? What to do? He drove it for 2 days but that wasn't cost or time-effective since he also goes to school 2 nights a week.
So this week, we made the decision (while I cried and he was on the verge) that he would start staying at an extended stay motel with a buddy during the week and only come home on the weekends (provided he gets to come home on the weekends since 7-day shifts are in the near future). So the babies and I will live alone on this island (well not really since "the other" is still here, but that's a story for another day) while he works on the other side of Houston and stays far, far away from us for far, far too many hours, days, weeks, months, years.
So why am I sharing these woes with you? What is my point you ask? We're miserable apart! That's the point! I love MY island (and so does he) but I love HIM more! And so do my kids! What is paradise if there's a hole in your life and your heart? It's NOTHING!
So we've started looking for temporary housing on the other side of Houston. That's right, FAR away from MY island home! BUT we will be together there. We can't be together here right now. It's sad here right now. It hardly feels like paradise at all right now and more like hell on the beach.
We will more than likely be moving from my island within the next month or so. No concrete plans as of yet, but full determination. He is our world. My island is just a piece of real estate (a beautiful piece of real estate). My family, my husband, and my heart are worth way more than a piece of real estate!
So wish me luck! Send sparkles! And know that I will be back on MY island some day very soon. We'll live THERE until the contract is complete and then we'll move back HERE where our hearts belong!
But for now, this is the right thing to do. Because I love HIM way more than I love this island! And that's a whole lot of love!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Hey y'all and happy Monday! Time for the week to begin! Are y'all ready for this? I am and it's going to be a busy one!
Welcome back to the Meaningful Monday voiceBoks sponsored Blog Hop. We're happy to have you here. If you haven't heard of voiceBoks and you're a blogger, I suggest you go check it out! It's a community for bloggers, founded by the amazing Lexie Lane, and it's all about promoting and supporting each other. You should go over there now, I'll wait. You can thank me later. And now...let's get to hopping!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
That's right my sparkly friends! It's happening again! No need to adjust your screens! I am co-hosting a Twitter Party! Why? Because this mission is incredibly important and needs to be shared with the masses! I am passionately fond of Champions For Kids and all of their Simple Service Projects!
And this month's sponsor is none other than Energizer! Together, we can Light Up A Life and make a difference. It's important to keep kids safe, and you can make it happen in your own community!
So please come join us on Thursday, February 9th, at 9:00 pm EST so you can party along and spread the word about this fabulous giving mission!
But wait...there's more (of course there is)! There will be prizes! Who can turn down a good prize? We will be giving away (2) $25, (1) $50, and (1) $100 Walmart Gift Cards.
You can follow hashtag #EnergizerCFK or better yet, you can use this Tweet Grid to easily follow along at the party.
It's sure to be a sparkling good time that you won't want to miss! RSVP by linking below! Remember, you won't be eligible for the awesome prizes unless you RSVP!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
We all have our own little slice of the world. My office is mine! This picture is not phenonemnal by any means but I'm sure you get the "picture".
It's casual, it's beachy, I have flowers, I have candles, my girls looking over me, and even a voodoo doll! Yes, this is MY space! Sadly, I can't spend enough time in here lately because of the turmoil in my house. I am SOOO much more productive in my little hole!
I'll reclaim my office, my little hole, and my LIFE very soon! So watch out world, I'll be back in full force soon enough!
And I hope you have a safe-haven of your own!