I love who I've become, I love my sparkly life, but let me tell you...it wasn't always this way! Not even close!
See that mother-daughter combo to your left? That's me and my oldest many moons ago! We were all smiles and laughter! I was in my very early 20's and she was my pride and joy!
But back then, life behind the camera was not as pretty as this picture! I was controlled, I was chastised, and I was abused! YUP...that's right! It's not just the weak that get punched on! I'm NOT weak, you know that! It's Brave Woman from all walks of life that suffer in silence!
So long story short (well as short as I can make it, you know how I roll), I'd like to tell you my story! I'd like for you to know why I am so passionate about this cause;
why I want you to take the Pledge for a Brave Woman;
why I want you to follow along on Facebook;
why I want you to join in the conversation on Twitter.
Yes, you should follow along everywhere. These women deserve your support and a second chance! They aren't weak...they aren't victims....THEY ARE BRAVE!
So my story? It started many years ago. Circa 1986...a 19-year-old girl ready for the world! I met this "boy". He was handsome and he was attentive. I was ready to be a "big girl" and move on to the real world. It all started out beautifully!
Fast forward 2 years. I'd seen the signs but ignored them. "You can't wear that", "You can't go there", "You can't be friends with her". It was all OK, he "loved" me! And then the wedding was planned. It was a small wedding with just very close friends and family, and I was a beautiful bride (if I do say so myself). We had a brief honeymoon, but I was sick the whole time!
Sick? Of course I was! We found out 3 days after we were married that "we" were pregnant! Oh the joy (so I thought), oh the excitement (so I thought). But really, all it meant was that the control factor would kick into high gear. HE OWNED ME! And the real torment began.
He started hitting me! He started telling me that I was a worthless piece of trash and that without him, I was nothing. But he was the father of my unborn baby, and things would change once she was born...I knew they would!
And my beautiful princess came into this world on June 27, 1989. My days of torment were over! He would cherish and adore us! Nope! He would beat me and leave me unconscious on a regular basis. This was my "place" in life, as he reminded me often. He would "let" me go to work to support him and my precious baby, and he would "hurt" me if I stepped out of line or told anyone!
I lived in fear for myself, and for my beautiful baby girl! But we stayed because he WOULD change...he promised!
And the years went on, and the beatings continued. I looked down gun barrels, I felt the sting of knives, I survived. And I lived my life! You see, most of the bruises left by an abuser (a coward) are left on the ribs, on the legs, on the arms...you know...the places people don't see! And the "victim" hides them out of embarrassment and shame. And for those that can't be hidden, there are sick days and well thought-out lies.
I was ready to leave. It had been 7 years of hell, but lo and behold, after many forced sexual encounters, I was pregnant again. So I stayed! I endured the beatings and thankfully, my #2 baby girl made it through things I don't even want to explain!
I was 27 and I had a 5 year old and an infant. My once loving husband was now a full-blown crack head! He stole every dime I made. I was the only one working. I was now raising 2 girls AND him, on my own, in the shadows, painting a beautiful picture for my family and the few friends I had left!
Fast forward 5 months. Paet couldn't sleep and was crying. Babies have trouble some times! I did all that I could. Bry was asleep and I didn't want to wake her. God forbid Patrick and his crack-head buddies were disturbed because you can imagine what kind of punishment I would endure for that! So I rocked more and attempted to console her. She wouldn't stop crying!
I heard the footsteps up the stairs. He said nothing...just swung, made full face contact and it hurt. But it only hurt me and I was numb to that by then. I grabbed my baby and started to run. He caught me and pushed US down the stairs. Yes, I was holding my baby girl as I tumbled down the stairs. Thankfully, she was not hurt, but in that moment as I lay at the bottom of those stairs sore and bleeding, I made my decision. He had finally gone too far and I felt BRAVE!
I grabbed my girls right then, left, and we never went back! The divorce took a little over 2 years to finalize. He wouldn't take the parenting class, was a repeated no-show at court, etc.
During that time, there were many nights that he'd call threatening to burn our house down...with us in it! He would rather we were dead than for him to live without us!
I lived in FEAR for so long! He showed up on our doorstep on more than one occasion. But you know what? He was just a bully! He never "burned us down". He stopped hurting ME because I no longer allowed it! And I swore that he would NEVER hurt my girls...EVER!
And the beauty of it is, to this day HE is the victim...NOT ME...NOT MY GIRLS! He has "changed" as I always hoped he would. He has seen the error of his ways. There are stories that I won't go into here, but he knows his loss! The girls consider him a "sperm donor" and I am Mom and Dad, and I am strong!
I don't know if I'm a Brave Woman but I know I support this mission! There are so many suffering in silence, and they don't know how to escape. Will you help them? These women are NOT victims! They are strong, they are beautiful, and they need the support to GET OUT! Will you do your part? Take the PLEDGE now!
And if you are a brave woman looking for a way out, there is help! You can do this! You deserve to shine, not suffer in silence!
Disclosure: This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias.
All ideas, opinions, and ideas/rantings are entirely my own!
