Xanax....Take Me Away!

I haven't been feeling very funny lately, my wit is fading, and as a matter of fact, I think I look and feel a little more like the poster child for Xanax than I do myself! Life has been a bit tumultuous lately to say the least.

You see, I live in a bubble. I like my bubble! My bubble is neat, clean, tidy, and generally germ free! It smells nice all of the time. The toilets, counter tops, and floors are clean. The beds are made. Toys stay in the toy place, books stay in the book place, and nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) is just scattered anywhere, ever! Yes, my bubble is a pleasant place and I'm really missing my bubble!

It all started about 3 weeks ago, my oldest daughter and her friend moved in with us. They left the drama of Georgia to start a new life in Texas. This pleases me! I love my daughter, I missed her terribly, and I want her here. But with them came mess, drama, noise, more mess, and a dog! Now my bubble has been violated and I am a nervous wreck, all day every day! They both got a job the second day they were here, waiting tables, which is wonderful, but with waitressing comes germs. Bad, icky germs. Flu germs, cold germs, virus germs, just germs! I hate germs!

The first week they were here, the potty-trained dog pooped on my bed, yes you heard me right, pooped on my bed. My daughter cleaned it up and washed my covers. Shhhh....please don't tell my husband, he doesn't know and hopefully won't find out. The dog would be Shish Kabob! The dog pees in the kids' room all of the time. It pees in my room. It pees in the living room. It pees in the bathroom when they lock it up in there. It just pees...all the time. My apartment, despite my constant vinegar and baking soda treatments, smells like a kennel. This does not please me. This does not please the girls because they don't like to listen to me grumble!

The dog is also just dirty no matter how much they wash him, and he smells like a, well like a dog. My once roll-on-the floor, smell-good carpet is now just nasty. If you walk on the carpet for more than ten minutes, your feet will be dirty. The baby rolls around and he is dirty. Note, one should only get dirty when playing outside. Outside is for dirty, inside is for clean. Dirty inside = bad. Dirty inside = Xanax poster child!

They use lots of toilet paper. How can two girls use so much toilet paper? I need to buy stock in Charmin, well it wouldn't help because I buy off-brand, but you get my gist.

Bubby, my once mild-mannered, sweeter than candy child pitches fits for no reason. Fits that only the son of an OCD, border-line bipolar personality mother could do. He's good at it. I didn't know he had it in him. I don't like it!

I caught Bug today squatting behind the dinosaur in her room attempting to pee. I refrained from medieval punishment and just picked her up, popped her, and put her in her bed. When I asked what in the hell she thought she was doing, she simply replied “the dog does it”. Why yes, yes it does. Bad dog, bad Bug....oh I'm getting angry again! Bubby, again, the most mild-mannered, well-mannered child I have ever met, walked into the living room earlier today and said “the dog pissed” and pointed to the spot. Oh my, this is getting out of hand!

The oldest, as I stated, is waiting tables, so of course she got sick last week. I swore it was the flu, she thought a bad cold. I bought her some medicine but she continued to work and go out at night, despite being sick. She coughed while she was here, she hacked, she sneezed, she just spit germs everywhere and lo and behold, last night, Bubby started showing signs of being sick. Today, this baby woke up sick, I mean sick! Flu sick like you wouldn't believe. Flu sick that broke this momma's heart. His eyes are heavy and red and he walks around saying “don't love it” and “love uh-uh”, as opposed to his usual “love it”, “like it”. No I'm not a happy camper. My apartment is germ-infested and I'm waiting for the next domino to fall. And I'm holding my breath until Bubby gets well because he is broken and my heart is heavy!

So in a nutshell, I'm a nut! This is a short-term situation but my psyche is long-term scarred. I love my kids. I want my girls near me. But I want my bubble back. I want my carpets clean, I want my toilets clean, I want my showers clean, I want to smell pretty smells, I want a germ-free household. I want the toys back in the toy place, the books back in the book place, and I want all of the damned clothes out of the floor. I want my counters back. I want my towels folded and clean. Oh and most importantly, I never want to see another dog hair as long as I live, and I never ever want to smell dog pee ever again, ever! Is that so much to ask? Xanax....take me away!

My Hubby and My Bubby

I love their matching grins in this picture.  

 

These two really don't get along all that well (because they are so much alike) so getting a picture of the two of them together like this makes my heart smile as it is very rare! I know they love each other dearly and I hope as Bubby grows up a little, he and his Daddy will get closer.  My hope is that they will find more common interests and spend more time together (just them without me as the bridge).  Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with the two of them, they are both so quirky and make me giggle!  But some day  I would love to have a full collection of pictures of the two men I love most in this world together....just like this one! 

GOOOD Job Mommy!

My Bug is a handful (why yes, I do believe I've mentioned that before) but sometimes she makes me laugh, really hard actually.  We had one of those moments today in between the usual chaos. I've been trying to teach Bubby to count.  This boy is like a sponge, extremely brilliant in my opinion, he picks up on things very quickly and has a phenomenal memory so I work with him as often as possible.  He loves the counting but he's a DO, NINE, DEN (that would be 2, 9, 10 for those of you that aren't fluent in 2-year-old) kind of guy so we work on this frequently.  I guess Bug felt that I needed some practice as well.  

So earlier today, she walks up to me and holds all the fingers up on her little left hand and says "Mommy, how many fingers am I holding up?".  Always sensing a "trick" from this one, I answered "5" since Bubby was listening intently.  Then while still holding up her left hand, she proceeds to hold up all of the fingers on her right hand and again asks "Mommy, NOW how many fingers am I holding up?".  OK, I guess we were just having a regular lesson, no trick, so I answered "10" and held my breath for the results.  

She beamed with pride and said "Good job Mommy, GOOOD JOB"!  Bubby too looked pleased.  Whew, was that ever a relief!  Here I am only 43 and have been studying that forever, and apparently I got both answers right!  I'd passed her test, a very proud moment indeed!  So glad I'm finally learning something and getting her approval!  They certainly are doing a fine job with me!

Biking Babies

The official Website of Author Aya Knight

Calling all fans of YOUNG ADULT FANTASY NOVELS

Kale Firehart is a young dragon, and the sole survivor of his race. As a tyrannical general and his massive bloodthirsty army close in on Kale—the most unexpected circumstance transpires. With time against him, Kale’s trusted friend, a veteran arcane sorcerer, transforms him into the one thing he despises most—a human.

Kale must unwillingly live among human-kind as he embarks upon an extraordinary journey. With a band of unlikely friends by his side, can Kale overcome the obstacles before him and return to the life he once knew.

The age of dragons is all but over…

PRE-ORDER NOW!

View the official website of author Aya Knight:
www.ayaknight.com

Boiling Point

Let me just start this by saying that I am high-strung by nature. I'll have to admit that since it is in my genes and this is not something that you can change. No pill, no diet, no exercise can reverse the effects of an inherited high-strung nature...I should know since I've tried everything. However, with this said, I am not an angry or violent person by nature. I try to be kind, attempt patience, and treat others as I hope that they will treat me. Unfortunately, I do have a boiling point, that point at which my face contorts, my emotions run rampant, my skin tone changes, and my heart races. I'm pretty certain that the heat from this rage can be felt throughout a 5 foot radius around me judging by the distance people have kept from me during these “episodes” in the past. It's not easy to get me to this high-level of volcanic eruption, and it generally takes a string of events to bring this hideous inner molten lava to the surface. Unfortunately, I've experienced quite a few of my eruption points in combinations over the past week or so that have me feeling that all-too-familiar heart racing, and almost unavoidable boiling point. It's coming, never sure when, never sure how, but pretty sure I'm on the cusp. Over the years in my attempts to suppress this horrible beast, I've formulated a list of the things I need to avoid. So here they are, the things I despise most in life:

#1 Know-it-alls.

#2 Messes. Little messes, big messes, it doesn't matter, it's a sign of laziness and I don't like it.

#3 Unappreciative people. Look if someone is sticking their neck out for you, if they go above and beyond for you, if they open their heart to you, the least you can do is say thank you.

#4 Poor customer service. You know the type, you make a call, ask a question and all they can do it read off of their stupid little card. They can't think outside of the box, and they sure as hell never step out of that little bubble they are in. They are also the ones that seem to constantly apologize for your inconvenience, and say idiotic things like “Do you understand that?” (God help the little Safe Auto dude that stepped into that trap yesterday, he's probably still at his momma's house crying now). It's a bad economy people, lots of folks out of jobs, if you do any of the things listed in this one, you should be in the unemployment line!

#5 Food smackers, another sign of laziness and poor upbringing. I don't know about you, but I do not want to see other people's food in their mouths, all chewed up and spitty. I don't want to hear them eat. Close your mouth and chew. Seriously, how hard is that? I don't know how these people don't make themselves vomit!

#6 Public nastiness. This includes smokers that throw their butts on the ground, gum chewers that spit their chewed sticky wads out for others to step in, spitters, loogie hawkers, nose blowers, and litterers.

#7 Irresponsible and inconsiderate pet owners. This could fall into the above category, but it really needs to be stated alone since this is the ultimate in public nastiness. What makes these people think that they can take their dogs out for a walk anywhere and just let them shit where ever they want and leave it there? Wonder if its OK for me to do this with my kids. Sure would save a lot on diapers!

#8 Bank errors.

#9 Judgmental people (especially those that go to church and claim to have read the Bible multiple times from cover to cover). This is God's job, leave it to the expert!

#10 Ill-mannered children. My own or those of others. Doesn't matter. Children should obey their parents. Yes, they will make mistakes, they will get into trouble, they will smart off at times, but repeated disobedience should not be tolerated. Even more annoying than the ill-mannered children are the ill-mannered parents that just laugh off the behaviors. It's NOT funny!

Well, that's about it in a proverbial nut shell. I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore. OK, so I probably will. It will only be about another 24 hours and if I'm in any way affected by any of the above, I'll blow. It won't make a difference and no harm will come to any other human since I'll just pitch one of my fits and more than likely inflict some type of wound upon myself (I've noticed that I'm more prone to bruising during an eruption?). Maybe by writing this list out, I've once again drilled all of the pressure-points into my head and I'll be more likely to avoid them, thus avoiding the inevitable at this point. Who knows? Wish me luck! Hopefully I won't be writing my next blog post from a 9x9 padded cell!

My Beautiful Challenge In Life....My Bug

A face any mother could love...an attitude even her own (me) struggles with!

  But I do so love My Bug!

Ike's Famous Guac

Long time friend, Ike Robinson, has perfected the guacamole dip. I'm not usually a fan of guacamole dip, but this is the bomb!  I asked him in case this was an ancient Chinese Secret and he gave me permission to "post away" so you are the lucky ones if you are reading this!  Seriously, if you don't try this, you are missing out on one of the finer things in life!

Ike’s Famous “Guac” (guacamole dip) – Ike Robinson

Ike has been perfecting this recipe for several years and in my opinion, he's achieved his goal! We love it...enjoy!

4 ripe Avocados

3 vine ripened tomatoes

1 bunch of green onions

2 lemons (my family uses limes because we prefer the taste....up to you)

To taste – crushed red pepper (I usually do about 8 shakes)

To taste – hot sauce (about 3 to 4 shakes)

1 tablespoon salt – after you taste it, you may want to add more (we omit this for obvious reasons)

1 tablespoon malt vinegar - optional

1. Cut the avocados in ½ (long ways), take the pit out & use a spoon to scoop out into a LARGE bowl.
2. Peel the tomatoes, then slice & dice & dump into the large bowl.
3. Clean & chop off the hairy end of the green onions. Now chop off just the white part & dice as fine as you like (some like chunks – yuck). Toss them into the large bowl.
4. Cut the lemons (or limes) in ½ & squeeze the juice into the large bowl. (I prefer to use a juicer to get rid of seeds – if you don’t have a squeezer, just pluck the seeds out with a spoon)
5. Into the LARGE bowl, shake in the crushed red peppers, hot sauce, salt & malt vinegar.
6. With potato masher (the hand one, no machines please) mash all the ingredients together. – Now you know why I say LARGE bowl! Mash to a consistency of lumpy.
7. Eat, drink & enjoy!

Serves 8-10

Great with tortilla chips & a Corona!!!

And just so you know, other than those pesky calories (that again I don't count and neither does the rest of the free world anymore) avocados are very low in carbs and this is actually a good, healthy snack.  Again, happy Superbowl (or any other gathering....and a good side dish to any Mexican feast you decide to cook at home)!

Homemade Lower Carb, Lower Sodium Mozzarella Sticks

Although I'm not really a fan of football (actually I hate it), I am a fan of watching the Superbowl for the commercials and the finger foods since I am a snacker rather than an eater by nature!  So even though I'm not a food blogger (and I dare any of you to bash my pictures or my style here), I thought I'd post a recipe (maybe more if I feel like it) of one of our favorite finger food recipes that you might want to try for your Superbowl party.  My party will consist of B, Bug, Bubby, and I which is my favorite kind of party of all!  My Mozzarella Sticks are a huge hit around here.  And although I wouldn't call them "low carb", they are lower carb and most certainly lower sodium than the run-of-the-mill frozen variety.  So let's get that part out of the way, my Cheese Sticks have 5 grams of carbs and 67 mg of sodium per stick.  Compare that to T.G.I.F Frozen Mozzarella Sticks at 7 grams of carbs and 260 mg of sodium per stick.  Not a significant carb difference, but you can eat a little more and they are oh-so yummy!  Also, if you skip the jarred marinara sauce and substitute Salsa Verde or a homemade marinara sauce (like my pizza sauce), or a homemade barbecue sauce (without all that added sugar), you could save yourself even more carbs!  If you are still one of those dinosaurs that is counting calories, you'll need to look elsewhere because I don't figure that kind of thing at all anymore!  Anyway, here goes, the following recipe makes 12 sticks:


What You'll Need:


1 - 8 oz. block Mozzarella Cheese (most come in 16 oz. blocks so cut in half)
1/8 Cup Bread Flour (any flour will do if you aren't worried about sodium)
1 egg
1 Tbsp Milk (we use Lactose Free so that's how the carbs/sodium are figured)
1/2 Cup Italian-style Bread Crumbs (I use any store brand)


Here's What You Do:


1.  Cut the block of cheese in half.  Then cut into 12 equal-ish pieces (I cut it into four long-ways, then three planks per chunk).
2.  Pour the flour into a bowl.
3.  Whisk the egg and milk in another bowl.
4.  Pour the bread crumbs on a plate.

5.  Roll the cheese planks in the flour first and cover all surfaces, then roll them in the egg/milk mixture, then quickly roll them in the bread crumbs.  The bread crumbs won't stick easily so do one quick roll to try to "cover" them, then pat the crumbs on with your fingers making sure to cover as best as possible.  

6.  Place the breaded cheese sticks on a plate and place them (uncovered) in the freezer for at least a half an hour.  This will help the "breading" set in and the cheese to harden a bit.
7.  Heat your deep fryer to 375 degrees. 
8.  Once the oil is heated, place the cheese sticks (6 at a time) in the basket and drop them into the oil.
9.  Make sure to "shake" the basket while you cook them so they don't stick.  
10. Cook while shaking until the breading is golden brown.  This will happen very quickly (in about a minute or so) so make sure you watch them.  I wait until the cheese oozes out a little so I know it is melted but they aren't as "pretty" that way, so you might want to take them out sooner.
11. Drain basket and place finished sticks onto a paper-toweled plate to absorb some of the oil.

12. Serve and Enjoy!


Are these as "pretty" as those frozen friends we are all accustomed too?  Of course not as you can see.  Do they taste better than our frozen friends?  You bet your sweet ass they do! 

My family doesn't even like the frozen ones anymore.  Matter of fact, my husband says they are better than any restaurant Mozzarella sticks he's ever had.  If you make them, I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!  Happy Superbowl!

 

Cold Snap My Butt....We Got Coats....Let's Go To The Beach Mom!

Just bundle up a little, and all is well on the island!  

Heck, at least we don't have snow!